So many of us begin the new year with declarations of restrictions towards self-betterment. Usually, this comes out of self-loathing, which I suppose is as good as any place to start. However, this is typically done while we are bathing our livers in spirits and embarking on scandalous encounters with strangers to the tune of Auld Lang Syne. Somehow this arbitrary day after, this clean slate – not unlike those that came before, serves as a way to renew and make good on purifying those sins of the past year.
It all seems counter intuitive from inception to execution.
I gave up resolutions long ago after fighting with the ego and my predilections for breaking character of the new and reformed. The aftermath would oft result in a shabby pity party and ultimately, relinquishing of the intention altogether.
For me, it’s not about instantaneous, external transformations, but an ongoing process beset with failures and successes, about living this life with all its flaws. This is what makes us, this is my motivation; that I get the opportunity to glimpse what doesn’t serve and extricate patterns and behaviors. My goals are wrapped up in the pending fulfillment that I will eventually learn lessons and omit self-limiting ideas, freeing myself form cycles that mute and dull.